The Epic Life of A Giant Squid
by PhoenixOfIce
Summary: You know the squid in the Black Lake? Ever know his name? Henry! But... you still don't know him or that stuff... First fanfic! :D Bad summary!


DANGER! I like….. Magical squish pies!

! Disclaimer! : Me:YAYYYYYY! JK RULES! Ok everyone! I own HP! Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Hedwig, Ted, Dobby, R.A.B, and a trillion others are alive! Oh! Also, I married Sirius Black! :P

Magical Henry: Nope!

Me: YES I DID!

Henry: *gobbles all the cookies and bagels in the world*

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOO! FINE! I admit it, everything belongs to JK :D Not me! Soo…

Henry and me: Happy happy birthday we love all reviews, happy happy birthday, enjoy snape's torture! :P

My name is Henry and I am known as a giant squid, but truly I hate being called this, my life's ambition is

to become a ferret, preferably a brown and blue one. Sadly, my huge size makes me not able to be a

ferret, maybe it will someday change! I have about a dozen tentacles- well, last time I checked

anyways… - and they are like 21 ft long each. My body is about 50ft long, but a squid can never be sure.

Ugh, I hate this part… I weigh… bleh… more than 6 tons….. But…. I LIKE TOASTED BAGELS! Especially

with strawberry jam and BUTTER! But I HATE blackberry jam and carrots. Seriously! WHY do they

exist! They are SOOOOOOO POINTLESS!

I was first introduced to the Black Lake in 1950, the reason why is far less simple than this…

In 1947, another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had practically come to a close

. The day before students would go home on the Hogwarts Express; one 7th year had the nerve to find

out if the rumors that a monster lived in my lake were true. Of course I wasn't there yet, but what had

emerged? A giant kelpie… oh but this kelpie was…. Err… special, it took the form of a (PREPARE

YOURSELF!) goldfish. Somehow, that student lifted it onto land; the demented kelpie was confused,

staying a goldfish. So, tell me children, what is a fish out of water? Goblin food! That's right; those

creatures LOVE their raw fish. So, it was shipped to the nearest goblin civilization, and for 2 school

years, students made a game of it, throwing wands and other important things into the mermaid

infested lake. This left a student retrieving it. At the time, this wasn't very common…. Yet. Then, in

August of 1950 I arrived at Hogwarts to once again fill the place of the lost kelpie. In my book, I'm liable

to gobble a student foolish or unlucky enough to swim or fall in the Black Lake. But then I must spit them

out, because humans taste terrible, like stale carrots with blackberry jam. I'm intelligent though, my first

year here a 4th year got thrown in my lake by a talented 6th year. So, I swam past the 4th year, throwing

my tentacles at the 6th year, tossing him well to the other side of the lake before lowering myself once

more to the cool depths. Over the years there had been many odd circumstances here. For example, the

worst was one day when I was to the point of dying, LITERALLY! It was around 1975, I was doing what all

Hogwarts giant squids love to do, sunbathe while counting my favorite new victi- err students. Suddenly,

I smelled something AWFUL! Splashing was common, so I ignored it but REALLY! HOW would Hogwarts

have a random oil spill? I'm SOO neglected! I began to swim towards it to investigate, it was

spreading! NOOOOOOOOO! Oh… it wasn't… ummm oil… just that Snape kid… Snivellus they called

him, well these nice kids that tossed me some bagels once a month. I could tell they delighted seeing

this kid in pain so… whenever he crossed my path he'd find himself in many places, on a mermaid's back

for one example, another riding me like a muggle rodeo bronco (this one I enjoyed personally), not only

was it fun for me, but I liked rewarding the people who fed me the deliciousness that are bagels. Also I

enjoyed the occasional pork or beef, but mostly bagels. This was truly the life of luxury for me. I was

lucky, I could've been in Loch Ness, like my sister, Claire and completely neglected, they NEVER gave

Claire any food and they were all oblivious muggles! How heartless! Ohh. I should go find someone that

can speak my language and turn me into an amazing FERRET!

A/N : Thanks for reading everyone! This is my first fanfic! I guess it depends on reviews if I'm going to

continue it but reviews are amazing! Criticism and stuff like that is the icing on the cake you shall

receive if you review! :D


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